What I Wish I'd Known: A Gift of Grief

Friday, July 31, 2015

A Gift of Grief

One of the things grief does for us is to sensitize us to the grief of others. At first this is not particular gift: we are too aware of our own sadness to think about the sorrows of others .But, sooner than we think, we will learn of people with grief like ours, and will reach out to them.
Maybe they will be people we already know. Maybe they will be strangers .But, if circumstances throw us together and we have a chance to talk, we will be strangers no more. We will know immediately the suffering each other is going through and we will be mutually strengthened and uplifted in this new relationship.
The story continues. As others who know out story experience their own tragedies, they will turn to us for help, and our empathy will give them comfort and hope. We will also be reminded of how far we have come and of the commonality of the human story that enables us to love and support each other!

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My Story

My husband Bill was a bodybuilder who outwardly seemed like he had the perfect life. He was 6'2", 250 pounds, he had this perfect physique. He watched what he ate. He exercised. So when he talked about taking his life, it was beyond my comprehension. I was very naive. I didn't understand how sick he was, and I honestly didn't take it seriously.
After Bill's death, I became a certified grief recovery specialist from the Grief Recovery Institute. I want my story and my pain to make a difference in someone else's life. I was an everyday person who was completely unaware, and my story is something that happens to others. If we can continue to have a conversation around mental illness then maybe it'll inspire someone else out there to get the help they need.