Are You Resilient? How Do You Handle Your Grief?

Resilience is a combination of your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. It is not something you either have or you don't. You can work on being more resilient by acquiring tools to help you get through tough times. It does not mean you are shoving your emotions under the rug or ignoring feelings. It means that your body and mind are finding ways to help you return to normal after experiencing trauma. It keeps you stabilized through your grieving and eventually helps you gain personal strength. You are not ignoring the negative emotions but rather allowing positive ones to flow as well.
A big part of being resilient comes from the support of your friends, family and community. Resilient people not only rely on their own strength,  but also the strength of others to help them through tough times. This support system is the best tool to regain a well-adjusted, healthy life.
It is true that many people experience positive changes and growth after a trauma. It is not the actual event itself that does this. It is the process of persevering and growing in the face of adversity. After experiencing trauma, your body and mind are called on to do the most difficult thing--heal. This is what gives us confidence that we can overcome any difficult situation and teaches us skills that we can use daily-for the rest of our lives.
Growth after trauma is common, but it doesn't mean that the healing process is any easier. It is still grief and it still requires suffering and strength to get through it. It  provides hope that there are positive outcomes to even the most tragic of situations. And  it is important to realize, suffering and growth can coexist.