A Gift of Grief

One of the things grief does for us is to sensitize us to the grief of others. At first this is not particular gift: we are too aware of our own sadness to think about the sorrows of others .But, sooner than we think, we will learn of people with grief like ours, and will reach out to them.
Maybe they will be people we already know. Maybe they will be strangers .But, if circumstances throw us together and we have a chance to talk, we will be strangers no more. We will know immediately the suffering each other is going through and we will be mutually strengthened and uplifted in this new relationship.
The story continues. As others who know out story experience their own tragedies, they will turn to us for help, and our empathy will give them comfort and hope. We will also be reminded of how far we have come and of the commonality of the human story that enables us to love and support each other!

Charateristics of the Bereaved

 

*The role the deceased had in the family, e.g. the power authority in the family.
*The amount of unfinished business in the relationship.
*Dysfunctional families will react in their usual patterns-they will be dysfunctional!
*Patterns of coping.
*Past or current experiences with grief.
*Current other psychological or social problems or crisis.
*Culture, ethnicity and religion.
*A previous history of psychiatric problems or addictions like alcoholism.
*There is a unique nature to each relationship!

The Opposite of Fear

"Love is the opposite of fear. The more we’re willing to love and trust who we are, the more we attract those qualities to ourselves. When we’re on a streak of really being frightened or upset or worried or not liking ourselves, isn’t it amazing how everything goes wrong in our lives? It’s the same when we really love ourselves. Everything starts to go on a winning streak, and we get the green lights and the parking spaces. We get up in the morning and the day flows beautifully." - Louise Hay

When Suicide Happens

Suicide is such a misunderstood act; a by-product of severe mental illness. Those who complete suicide are victims and their families are left with blame, shame and countless fingers pointing at them with questions of "how could they do that?" Just as people are compassionate with other types of mental illnesses, people who deal with thoughts of suicide (especially the families of those who ultimately carry it out) need compassion, loving arms and a place to go where people will accept and offer them real opportunity for help.

Exercise for Sleep

   Do not do strenuous exercise too close to bedtime. It is too stimulating and will be hard to fall asleep afterwards. But do exercise earlier in the day to wear yourself out. People who exercise regularly find it easier to fall and stay asleep.

Keep Busy With New Goals

Learn a skill that requires daily practice and make the evening your time to learn and hone your new talent.

Write It Down

Writing about anger, sadness, and other painful emotions helps to release the intensity of those feelings. You will feel calmer and better able to stay in the present. Writing therapy allows you to track patterns, trends, improvements, and growth over time. You will be able to look back on previous dilemmas that you have since resolved and feel a sense of accomplishment.

Social Support

Seek social support. Spending time with family and friends is an important buffer against stress. It can be helpful to share your problems with people who care about you.

Letting Go

Everyone has experienced struggle, heartbreak, loneliness, failure and loss in their lives. We are all human. But some people are able to put those experiences behind them and move on with hope and optimism looking forward to a brighter future. Others can’t seem to let those difficult times go. The difference is that the people that can’t let them go keep replaying the bad times over and over in their minds. They go back and revisit the difficult days every day, in those quiet moments when they are alone and have time to think. They replay them over and over like a broken record. They feel the sadness and all the emotions that go with the difficult times over and over again throughout the days, weeks, months and years that follow, never allowing them to fade from their memories.