Inside The Minds of Those Who Kill, and Kill Themselves

Setting aside the debate over access to guns, trying to understand the actions of a mass murderer has us grasping for answers..settling on a diagnosis that the shooter was probably a psychopath-cold, unfeeling, heartless.
Recent studies of the writings of mass killers come to a different conclusion. The gunmen suffered from an intense form of paranoia. Far from being cold or detached, these young men were enraged, their delusions of persecution becoming ever more intense and intolerable. They become fixated and obsessed with rejection by what they see as an elite " in-group," whom they see as having unfairly achieved success. They formulate plans to take out these elite, which they justify as vengeance for the maltreatment.
Other characteristics these killers seem to share are extreme narcissism, loners, a desire for fame, glory and attention.
Mental health experts who study mass murder-suicides found that depression and thoughts of suicide  are common, but not enough to explain such drastic and rare acts. There is something fundamentally different here aside from depression.
They want to die, and they want to bring many others down with them. For some, the targets are the purpose of their attack. In other cases, the purpose of the attack is primarily to gain notoriety, and the targets become the means to that end. They are collateral damage.
Domestic murder-suicides are almost always impulsive-committed in fits of rage or jealousy, and a majority of the killers also abused alcohol or drugs. In contrast, killers who take groups of strangers as targets plan their crimes carefully, waiting for an opportunity to act. They seem concerned about keeping a clear mind for the task ahead.. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day..
Dylan Klebold, 17, of Columbine High bragged that his goal was to cause the most deaths in U.S. history.
 If authorities had known what had driven him to carry out his plan, they may not have made it public.
Perhaps not publicizing these horrific crimes is something to consider...

Dealing With Anger and Guilt After a Suicide

After losing a loved one to suicide, it's not uncommon to struggle with feelings of anger and guilt. It's normal to feel anger towards your loved one who committed suicide at the same time that you feel overwhelming grief over your loss. They made a devastating choice that will impact the rest of your life, leaving you to pick up the pieces and deal with the aftermath. Who wouldn't be angry??
It's also normal to feel guilty after catching yourself feeling anger towards your loved one. What you feel guilty about is your anger. You are not angry at the person who committed suicide, you are angry about the choice they made to end their life, leaving you behind with all the pain and hurt.
You are angry at the choice, not the person. It was your loved one that made that choice, not you. Had you know that they were going to make that choice, you would have done what you could to stop it. But you didn't know..
 Accept that you can't change what happened and you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. If you are burdening yourself with misplaced guilt, you are confining yourself to an emotional prison.
These bars are made of guilt, anger, bitterness and resentment. That kind of prison locks from the inside. The only one that can let you out is you.
You wake up every morning and choose what to think. Accept what has happened and know that the life you have today, tomorrow and the next day is a function of what you choose.
You experienced a devastating loss, but you didn't choose it. Give yourself permission to move on. With time and patience, your initial grief will subside and with this resolve comes an opportunity for a deeper healing.  The transition of your loved one will bring about opportunities for emotional and psychological healing as well as spiritual growth. This spiritual growth may be just what you need to help ease your grieving heart and transform a difficult time into a spiritually meaningful experience.

Depression Will Not Go Away On Its Own

Depression is a serious mental illness that can cause both emotional and physical pain to millions of children, teens and adults. Using a combination of therapies and other medicinal approaches are often the best ways to learn how to fight depression. Unfortunately, only about 20% of individuals suffering from depression seek help. Most don't even know they have it or if they do, they don't want deal with it, much less talk about it.
Depression will not go away on its own.. It needs to be addressed or will likely become worse.
The most effective ways to fight depression are:
Therapy.  Trained therapists or psychologists will help figure out the emotional turmoil you are struggling with that might be the cause of your depression. These life struggles or tragedies include death, divorce, and poor self esteem..Learning to work through these struggles, accept them and move on is all part of treating depression.
Antidepressants and Herbal Remedies.  Some people find success in treating their depression by taking depression meds or herbal remedies, however, these meds do not work for everyone and cannot be taken with other medications so it's important to talk to your physician about this option. Recent studies about the side effects of Paxil;  insomnia, anxiety, seizure, hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, especially in teens, led the FDA to issue a black box warning label be put on this drug stating the increased risk of suicidal thought in teens taking it. Paxil withdrawal syndrome is known to be the most severe withdrawal for drugs in it's class.
Exercise and Nutrition.  Exercise releases endorphins and other hormones which elevate mood, making it a great way to fight depression. Like working out, getting nutrients through food and liquids you ingest is another way to fight depression. A balanced diet helps balance your hormones and keep your weight under control. Blood sugar stabilization is important to control mood.
Talking and Writing Therapy.  Keeping a journal of what makes you happy helps you to focus on the positive as well as getting things off your chest so you can analyze your situation. It may not be as bad as it seems..
Talking through your feelings with a professional, friends, or family members will help you process your emotions so you can let them go. You can learn to live in the present, and let go of your past.
Try your hardest to focus on the positive. Remind yourself about the good things you have going in your life!

Men are Dying Because They Can't Talk

Every country in the world has seen male suicides outstrip female ones, and it's because men are silent and reluctant to seek help. The socialization of men is based on homophobia, sexism and pressure from media and peers who support these mindsets. From birth, they are told to be strong, to be unshakable, and never display any kind of sensitivity or weakness, lest you be branded "gay", "sad" or a variety of other disparaging prejudiced terms that are considered feminine and like a woman. Men are being taught to think that being open about their emotions and mental health is an engagement in identifying with a gender identity other than their own-men don't do this. Only women.
Men are taught that they have a Breaking Point, and that involves anything from a bar brawl to domestic violence.They are taught that violence is conflict resolution, and that uncorking themselves and venting is something that happens when it cannot be stopped, not when it can.
Mental health's biggest challenge is to get people to talk-to stop the silence. Silence is death. Silence is self-harm. Silence is smiling through your pain .Silence is not bravery when it comes to mental health. We need to address the mental health benefits and positive masculinity of men expressing themselves, whether it's social media discussion or the narrative of a TV show.
Toxic posts and books that suggest that men and women are simply "wired" differently suggest that women should cater to the emotional shortcoming of men in order to avoid conflict. This is a problem- it dismisses the mental illness issue and reinforces the male stereotype that men don't have real feelings.
This isn't about coming out about your mental health to your friends at the bar-there are actual, professional, free resources on the NHS  (National Health Service) that are available. Private mental health professionals are an option too. You can be healed while taking small steps towards being more open about how you feel outside the therapist' room.
Men do things because they want to be strong. To not die. To live. So talk. Seek help. Even quietly. Push back against stereotypes and prejudice that keep men silent. This goes for everyone, not just men.

Wrong Turns In Life.

Often in life, you might take a wrong turn, but at the time, you may not be aware that is IS a wrong turn. So you'll coast along for a while thinking that the scenery looks a bit different than what you expected, but at the time that seems okay. It may take ages, but suddenly you come up against an immovable boulder on the path, one that you can't go around. Or the road you are on dead ends. This is the moment of truth, when you realize not only that you took a wrong turn, but that you're going to have to retrace your steps. Your may feel so far from your destination that you panic, and you just can't believe that you wasted all this time!
Don't give yourself a hard time..If you think back and look really hard, there will be something positive that came out of your little detour.It doesn't matter that you made a side journey: it was just that-a side journey- and it won't prevent you from reaching your destination.Time passes and so does the moment. Soon you'll be back on the right path.Getting anything that's worthwhile is always full or wrong turns, dead ends, and sometimes dark despair. But remember that makes it all the sweeter when you do finally arrive!

When Suicide Happens

Suicide is such a misunderstood act; a by-product of severe mental illness. Those who complete suicide are victims and their families are left with blame, shame and countless fingers pointing at them with questions of "how could they do that?" Just as people are compassionate with other types of mental illnesses, people who deal with thoughts of suicide (especially the families of those who ultimately carry it out) need compassion, loving arms and a place to go where people will accept and offer them real opportunity for help.

Suicide By Train

In Orange County, where nearly 68 miles of track snake through neighborhoods from San Clemente to Anaheim – and where 58 people killed themselves on train tracks from 2002 to 2012 – the rate of suicides by train is slightly higher.
And where the train runs from the San Diego County line to Dana Point, where there are few fences and many pedestrians, the deaths are clustered. Since 1986, at least 19 people – including Bill Brotherton Jr. – have died on that 6-mile stretch of track.